Whimsical Notions: hey, i'm going to be truthful here.

Beta convention '10 definitely had its highs and lows, and the miserably cold weather probably accounted for a large portion of the "lows."

Oratory

So I went for oratory, and the terrible thing is, I didn't have the time to memorize it until the morning of. So I was frantically trying to stuff all of those trite expressions and cheesy phrases into my head (and wondering why on earth I had felt so sappy while writing the speech) while running around trying to finish the scrapbook at the same time (yes, I also went for scrapbooking). When speech-delivery time finally came, my hands grew clammy and my heart shaky when I realized that I still hadn't fully memorized my speech... trust me, this is new to me. After placing first last year in various speech events, not doing well just didn't seem like even a remote option.

And yet suddenly, it was the only choice I had. I was second on the list, and during that first speech, I tried once again to run through my speech in my head, but I had only gotten through the first two paragraphs before I realized it was my turn. No biggie, I thought to myself. I've done this before. I could still place first. So I strutted up there, put on a smile, and began to talk.

Imagine a man, maybe 20 years old, a bit overweight, still lives with his parents, and has never seen a race before, or a track meet, or even the track itself... they were smiling. I started gaining momentum, pacing across the room when it felt right to, illustrating my points with grand hand gestures, speeding up and raising my voice when the climax of my introductory anecdote neared. And then I paused. Umm... uh... oh.... crap. I blubbered on, and I felt my face reddening. I think I'll just sit down now... and I sat. Talk about an anticlimactic speech.

I have never done that before. And for some reason, I felt relieved. The boy sitting next to me patted me on the shoulder and told me it was the best introduction he's ever heard, and other competitors confronted me at the end to tell me it was still wonderful. But I couldn't puzzle together why I felt so relieved. I suppose because the pressure was gone. I had a legitimate excuse (almost) for not placing. I no longer had expectations to meet. I could just enjoy the weekend without having to worry about whether or not I did well... and boy, did God show me. I've been praying for a wake-up call from my pride, and this was definitely it (along with the situation a week ago). And to think, I was sitting here thinking I could do it all by myself.

It's true though, when all my Northview friends started receiving awards, half of me wished I could have that fame too. That I could've been the one up there to deliver a speech. But then I realized- I only wanted it for my own glory and my own pride. So it's a good thing I didn't win. Otherwise it might as well have been another obstacle on my attempts at renewing my relationship with Him.

Speakers

They were inspiring, especially the ones who were bold enough to talk about God. I'm not going to lie- when they started talking about Him, a part of me was condemning them because they were bringing religion into a nonreligious state convention. But if only I had that courage, to speak up without fear of condemnation or judgement (which will inevitably come). How did they do it? Oh my goodness, another wake up call. I just can't get over myself, can I?

Anyways, I loved the one from Kentucky, who talked about our airport as if it were Satan in architecture form. He was hysterical, and so inspirational at the same time; I aspire to be like him. And he testified to an amazing story too-

So his mother loves to facebook, and she had updated her status so that it said "I wish I had a camcorder so that I could record my son's speech." A man commented, telling her to meet him at a certain place and time; he would let her borrow his. When she saw the price tag on it though, she rejected the offer, saying that she couldn't take something that was brand new. But the man said that he had bought the camcorder a few days ago, knowing that God had called him to do it, knowing that it was going to serve some purpose in the future. And then he saw her status.

Is that not God's hand working? It reminds me of a time in Nashville, when we needed tools to fix a sink at someone's house... and Chris pulled out a toolkit from his back pocket and said that he just felt a weird urge to bring it on the trip. I love it. There was another one too- he talked about how failure made him a better person. And he reminded me a whole lot of myself- changing his major four times in college? That's insane- and he's only a sophomore. But the failures led him to his success, and I sure hope I'll turn out like that too.

And finally, one of the candidates, named Neal. He was running for vice president, and he was asked a question- What's the greatest gift you've received? And you know what he said? He said, "my salvation." Wow. What a great answer. Of course, afterwards, a few atheists in my Beta group started questioning it, and one girl brought up a really interesting question- "If we're the ones choosing whether or not to accept Jesus, then wouldn't we be saving ourselves? Why is it that Jesus is the one saving us?"

It's because we don't deserve it, and yet, He's giving us the chance. Take it, guys.

Fun

Here's the things I'll remember :) --

dancing like I was on drugs in Penn&Sandra&Bria's room, then singing on the balcony while strangers walked past
playing a certain game that transformed dogs walking on beaches to llama-cats to dragon-seals to the world ending, and bananas to octopi to coat hangers
feeling exhilarated at the rush of northview's numerous wins, and realizing how much we've grown since last year
trying to learn drums and only succeeding at the rim shot, then trying to have war with the drumset on the other side of the room
being crystal's arms
witnessing the drunkenness of jennifer's dad, and finding out that mrs.ely does not, in fact, live near us.
wondering about the legitimacy of rachel being human
listening to a boy who literally breathed poetry (he should've won oratory, but he forgot his speech as well...)
rushing last minute to glue together a scrapbook, then tearing up because the beautiful thing didn't win
smirking at how ill-qualified other quiz bowl teams are compared to northview
meeting harry potter, waldo, and bees, as well as future stars
watch uzma freak out about a boy, then finding out that boy was alice's boyfriend...
listening to some of the most talented singers and some of the best songs ever, then falling in love with them. I'm marrying a good singer, guys.