and off i (don't) go.

Well, seems like we're all taking big leaps nowadays. Finally jumping the gap that used to be so huge. Getting off that side of the cliff, because the view's getting old. Leaping for something new. Well, except for me, it seems. I used to always be the one who'd do everything because I was never scared, because I wanted to try something new and see where it'd take me. But it was a mixed blessing, because with so much initial acceleration, I came crashing down, and now I can't do anything without second guessing, without taking a small cautious step and calculating my chances of survival before fully wading in.

I'm so scared of myself now, and I'm scared of other people. God, it feels like I'm finally stepping out of this happy, protective cocoon that I've lived in my entire life, and seeing the world as it really is. You can tell, just reading this blog. And I try to fight against it, but this world just keeps pushing me back down, and it's getting harder and harder to get back up and dust myself off. And I just don't want to find myself, one day, lying in the dirt with my face flat in the mud, arms crippled from pushing myself up too many times, clothes torn and heart ripped.

I look strong.

But really, I'm just like every other poor soul on this planet, searching for some kind of redemption.