"The best moments in reading are when you come across something - a thought, a feeling, a way of looking at things - that you’d thought special, particular to you. And here it is, set down by someone else, a person you’ve never met, maybe even someone long dead. And it’s as if a hand has come out, and taken yours.

A task for you.

1. Go to Google.com

2. Type in "Who's the cutest?"

3. Click I'm feeling lucky.

It's a flood of memories when there's grammar mistakes.

I was going to rant about history and how we obviously never learn from our mistakes, but then suddenly, all these memories overflowed my mind, and it was, as sad as it is, more real than the flood in Indonesia or the earthquake in Haiti. And my heart hurts.

It hurts for those hot summer days when everything's too humid and too sticky and the ice pop's melting rapidly in your hand but it's worth it because the little girl's lying in your lap and playing with your hair. It hurts for that one breeze that just halts your movements and pulls out a sigh of relief. It hurts for all that chalk those kids wasted on me, that vicious shirt-eating thing that crumbled colors and drew smiles. It hurts for that day when I was dressed in the same clothes I'm dressed in now, this blue tanktop and white shorts, when I looked in the mirror and pretended to love my (un)luscious lips and became a star on Shocco's next top model. It hurts for that six flags trip that ended up brining my personal fitness grade down five points because I skipped a day of summer school, but it's okay because we rode Goliath three times and that's all that matters. It hurts for those endless nights of fountain hopping on Stanford's campus, when it was too cold to stand in the water but we did it anyway so that the hot chocolate could taste better afterwards. It hurts for those nail-painting sessions and the fumes that nearly suffocated me, but that was a really pretty gold. It hurts for the park across from Vanderbilt. It hurts for that night when the clouds moved across the sky faster than I imagine jet planes to move, as if they were going on an important excursion to some important place, like heaven. It hurts for the days at the pool, the pizza consumed, the frisbees thrown. The somersaults before frisbee games. The countless korean circle games, most of which I don't even remember. The putt-putt that never gets old. The lake that's too dirty to swim in but perfect for paddle boating. The fresh smell of those rooms, the chilling air conditioning that's always too cold, or too hot, the stiff beds, the Kix. It hurts for those girl conversations late at night, with all flavors of Mochi ice cream and all kinds of poker games to play afterwards.

It hurts, but it's soothed. I'm so at peace when I listen to this korean music that's playing right now and remember all those great memories. Whirlwind, Nashville, Shocco, Stanford... I'm so ready for summer. I can taste it. Everything already feels lighter. And brighter.

And I'm going to miss those seniors so much. I don't think you understand the extent to which how different it'll be next year. I'm going to be the big (wo)man now... I never thought I'd actually reach this point. I never thought it'd come. But it's coming. Holy crap,

There's only two more weeks of school.

APUSH in eight hours.

Now's about the time when I start scheming of ways to make a time machine- not anything too special, just a nice, simple one- so that I can go back in time and hold back those overly ambitious Spanish and British and French from discovering the New World so early on. Maybe convince them to wait two hundred years. That way, there wouldn't be so much to study. The AP test would probably just have thirty questions or so about how some little Asian girl named Jessie prevented the European countries from expanding. That would be great, please.

I have plenty to say and plenty to study, but the past has defeated me and I'm going to sleep.

Eff.

I just wanted to say that I just read five hundred pages of U.S. history text in two days.

holy mother duck.

All I know is that I'd hate to be a historian.

family conversations

Brother: Where's the pump?!

Mom: Do you have problems?!

Brother: The bicycle's tire is flat!

Mom: Can't you pump it?!

Brother: Where's the freaking pump?!

Mom: The freaking pump is in your freaking mind!!

I love my family. I wish I could write down everything they say.

Me: [singing to Bieber on the radio] baby, baby, baby, oh!

Mom: Jeez, this kid's had fourteen babies already!

Mom: I love eating the skin of the chicken!

Brother: But you told me before not to eat it because it has too much oil!

Mom: Well, it's okay for me, because I'm skinny!

Me: Mom, why are you eating chocolate? You hate chocolate.

Mom: Well, I'm growing fat and old, so I must eat chocolate!

Me: Wait, what...?

Me: [singing] Let's pretend we don't exist. Let's pretend we're in Antarctica.

Mom: What? You don't exist? Like water bubbles! Pop! Pop! They look so pretty in the sun, but then, pop!

Me: So profound, mommy!!

Brother: Do you think I should start learning Chinese before it's too late?

Dad: Jonathan! I knew you'd come to your sense one day! Wow, this is so great! We can practice in the car, and I'll teach you everything. We'll have lessons at home. I'll get out all my old Chinese teaching books so that we can have lessons back at home, and it'll be great since it's free! I knew it!

Me: Have you heard of that stereotype where Asians always take too many napkins from restaurants?

Mom: [offended] What?! I do not take too many napkins from restaurants! I only take what I need! [takes about ten napkins] See?

[click here] for CRP conversation

It is time to get serious and get cracking. I'm going to try extremely hard to study for AP exams like I should. I must. Back in a week or so; don't leave!

haven't changed! Thanks parents!

People don't need to be rich.

You know this world is messed up when an actress can make 20 million dollars for one movie, and a firefighter can only make 40,000 for one year.

Does that not seem just slightly outrageous? Firefighters literally risk their lives as a job description, and what do actresses do? Entertain? No wonder there's a freaking money problem right now. I don't mean to seem ostentatious because the truth is, I have absolutely no inkling about money and economics (it goes right over my head), but I hate that all the rich people who hoard all of this country's money hardly do anything to better this world. Athletes? What do they do, hit a ball, and receive million-dollar contracts?

And the terrible thing is that we're the ones funding it all, and there's really no way to change it all. I can't even help it; the hype around movies are too much to pass up, as I'm sure is the same for the Superbowl and the World Cup and March Madness. And so much money is being spent on these public figures, that we're forgetting the people who actually matter, like the teachers. Oh my gosh it saddens me when I think about all these budget cuts surrounding education. What, no more music education in elementary school? Possibly no more GHP? Cuts on teachers? Larger class sizes? What's the deal? I view education as an extremely important part of our lives that should not be subjected to these budget cuts. And it's not like money is rapidly disappearing from the surface of the earth either, it's still there. It's just all in the banks of Britney Spears and Paris Hilton and Tiger Woods, the people who do so freaking much for this world. You know, Africa could really learn from Tiger Wood's morals, and South America should pick up some intelligence from Paris Hilton. What are they even making money for? Oh my gosh, we're one of the richest nations in the world, and we can't even fund education. Maybe I'm just not getting this; someone please enlighten me of the way economics works.

I hate people, I really do sometimes. And I'm so scared for my children. If I even have any. At this rate, it seems like the world really will end soon.

All the best are bonkers

Hatter: Have I gone mad?

Alice: Yes, you're entirely bonkers. But i'll tell you a secret - all the best are.

I finished Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll a few days ago, and it was nothing like the movie. Instead, it had no moral, and it was wonderful. I'm glad I watched the movie first; the animation was beautiful enough to satisfy me throughout the book. What book to read now?

let's be in love and dance

I would very much like one day to have a boy who feels like this because of me, please:

Or better yet, I'd like to feel like that. I can't even imagine how that's gotta feel... it must be an amazing feeling, really.

Yesterday (and the day before) were great.

The best days are the ones when you can let go of everything bothersome and school-related, and just have fun. There's no such thing as stress when you're falling 150 feet with the wind rushing against your face and your hands raised boldly in the air. No such thing as school in the sky. I love adrenaline...

And it gets better when you feel beautiful while having fun (laser tagging in dresses!). A Charlie's Angel? Oh heck yes. Although we lost miserably, it was the best night I've had in quite a while. I'm going to miss my graduating seniors, that's for sure.

Airplanes by B.o.B ft. Hayley Williams

Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars?
I could really use a wish right now.

I don't think people realize that I love good rap music. Really, rap isn't just for "gangsters" or "wannabe gangsters," or whatever, and just because I'm an Asian girl, doesn't exclude me from being capable of liking music other than Hannah Montana. And rap's most definitely not something that should just be about having sex with girls, like all the mainstream stuff is like nowadays. It's catchy and it makes money, that's for sure, but good rap is emotional, and it's real. It's not afraid to tell it as it is. Have you heard of Dessa? I'll feature a post on her some other time. Eminem's great too. I love slam poetry, how could I not like rap?

Anyways, B.o.B's a good mainstream rapper, as Ed said. And I gotta say, Hayley Williams was a great choice for this song. She's the lead in Paramore.