I need to spend some time with myself. Honestly, I'm losing it again. I blame the game.

I thought I knew what I feared most. I thought it was pain. Physical pain. The slits on the wrist, or the throat, the bleeding from the head, the sharp blade that comes closer and closer. Or the chainsaw. Or a fire.

But now, I'm thinking that I fear that no one will love me, or people are talking bad things behind my back. I'm deathly afraid of that too, I realized. I'm so paranoid. I do want to be loved, I do...

But I actually think I'd pick the latter over the former. Still afraid of physical pain.

But then again... living an entire life without feeling loved is a pretty darned hard life to live.