Except You're Not Kidding.

What bothers me the most is when people throw the rudest, most obnoxious, most insulting comments at me and expect me not to care. Like, "Jessie, everything you say is so obnoxious; please stop." or "Jessie, you're so stupid, why can't you get this?" I mean, I know they don't mean any harm (or do they?), but I also know that the only reason they say these kinds of things is because they know I won't blow up. They think that I'm this nice, awesome girl who'll take in their jokes and simply laugh along. They know that I'm such an easy person to target, because I won't make a scene. I'm perfect for guys to practice insulting. But you know what else I hate? I hate those obscene gestures and those terribly sexual movements, or those stupid, perverted, horny jokes that boys make. What's worse is that a lot of those guys think they can target those jokes at me, because they think I don't care.

And hey, sure I don't care. Sure it doesn't matter if you think I'm a skank (what? where'd that come from?) or that I'm stupid or obnoxious or annoying or that my laugh is too loud or that I spazz out too much or that I'm weird. But what bothers me even more is that everybody thinks they can erase what they say with a simple "just kidding."

What? You're just kidding? Okay, so of course that makes everything better. Of course I won't think twice again when I open my mouth. Of course you just said your little insulting comment for the sake of just kidding. Yeah, that makes sense. I mean, there's the friendly banter that can occur between two really good friends, but at the same time, there's a line. I'm very sensitive about my intelligence (or should I say stupidity?) and people know that. They don't cross that line. And when you call me stupid, please don't think you can just permanantly erase those words from my mind, as if you never said it. Because the truth is, after years of not caring about the insults being thrown at me, I've actually become very, very self-conscious.

And what's with the little sexual implications?
Why aren't girls respected anymore? (Actually, were we ever respected?) But honestly though, we're moving out of an age where girls were used as nothing more than sex toys, and we're stepping forward into an era where people have realized the capacity and potential behind the female sex. (I don't know why the boys in my school aren't there yet). And with this realization comes with respect. Where on earth is it? I'm sick and tired of these immature dudes scoping out chicks to bang and regarding any little phrase I say or action I make as dirty and obscene.

Please, grow up.