A CASE STUDY ON THE CAPITAL LETTER

SO YESTERDAY NIGHT, I DECIDED TO TALK TO EVERYONE USING ONLY CAPITAL LETTERS, IN AN ATTEMPT TO RID OF THE SHOUTING VOICE ASSOCIATED WITH IT. I OBSERVED A FEW THINGS AMIDST ALL THIS, AND IT WAS ACTUALLY QUITE INTERESTING. FIRSTLY, THE CAPITAL LETTER WAS NOT ORIGINALLY MADE TO MAKE PEOPLE SOUND MORE EXCITED OR MORE ANGRY. ACTUALLY, IT WAS WHAT WAS THEY STARTED WITH, AND THEN THEY INVENTED THE LOWERCASE LETTER SO THAT THEY COULD WRITE FASTER, AND IT'S INTERESTING TO SEE HOW THE CAPITAL LETTER HAS EVOLVED. THESE ARE THE THINGS I OBSERVED OUT OF THE FEW PEOPLE I TALKED TO:

1. PEOPLE AUTOMATICALLY BECOME HAPPIER WHEN HAVING A CONVERSATION IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS. QUOTE ONE GUY: "I FEEL LIKE A BIGGER, HAPPIER VERSION OF MYSELF." CAPITAL LETTERS SEEM TO HAVE A EUPHORIC, ALMOST DRUG-LIKE EFFECT ON A PERSON. WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT IF WE COULD REPLACE DRUGS WITH CAPITAL LETTERS?
2. ONE FEELS WORN OUT AND TIRED AFTER AN ENTIRE CONVERSATION OF CAPITAL LETTERS, SIMILAR TO THE "COMING DOWN" EFFECT OF DRUGS OR THE "CRASH" OF A CAFFEINATED DRINK.
3. WHEN I STARTED TALKING TO PEOPLE IN CAPITAL LETTERS, MOST OF THEM IMMEDIATELY RESPONDED IN CAPITAL LETTERS AS WELL, AS IF THEY FELT THREATENED AND HAD TO LIVE UP TO THE LARGENESS OF THE CONVERSATION.
4. THE CONVERSATIONS FELT MORE IMPORTANT AND MORE INTENSE, AND THEY LASTED LONGER THAN THEY USUALLY WOULD. EVERYBODY RESPONDED FASTER TOO.
5. EVERYTHING I SAY BECOMES MORE BLOWN UP. IF I SAY "HAHA," THE JOKE SEEMS INFINITELY FUNNIER. IF I SAY "NO," I SOUND LIKE AN EXTREMELY TEMPERAMENTAL AND ANGRY PMS-Y GIRL. THIS IS HOW IT IS, EVEN IN A CONVERSATION OF ALL CAPS.
6. THE LOWERCASE BECOMES MORE POWERFUL IN A CONVERSATION OF ALL CAPS. IT HAS THE EFFECT OF, QUOTE ONE PERSON, "THE ROOM GETTING REALLY QUIET AND SOMEONE WHISPERING REALLY SERIOUSLY." THIS IS A REVOLUTIONARY WAY TO MAKE OTHERS TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY ONLINE.
7. THE UPPERCASE LETTER MAKES PEOPLE THINK OF YOU AS A JOKE, AND NOBODY WILL TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY.

SO I HAVE A QUESTION FOR YOU: DID you TAKE THIS POST SERIOUSLY?

PS: I HAVE YET TO GET RID OF THE SHOUTING VOICE. IT IS STILL THERE.